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Monday, 15 December 2008

  • Exboyfriends

    Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I had been really busy with my exams and just hadn't had anytime to sit down and write something worth while. Friday afternoon I was sitting in my apartment doing laundry and other  cleaning other areas of the house when I get a phone call from my high school sweetheart (we will call him...brown eyes). I glance at my phone in disbelief I haven't talked to him in months and we do have a fairly cordial relationship and I would think of him as a friend just not as close as we used to be. Anyways he calls I pick up. "Hello", "Hey Lael! Its brown-eyes I was wondering where your apartment complex is..", "You were wondering where it is? Why?", He responded, "Well I'm on (a road near my complex____) and I needed to know how to get there...I'm moving up here and going to the university." (My mouth completely drops open three years ago this would of been music to my little ears, now I didn't know what to think). I finish giving brown-eyes directions and I meet him outside my building. We hug and of course everything is nice and by no way is it awkward. I sit and wait with him at the clubhouse and we talk about everything. It was kinda nice. As I was leaving to go babysit I told him that I was having a little party tonight if he wanted to come...as the words were coming out of my mouth I knew I regretted it. He politely declined saying he had to drive the two hours back to his hometown. We hugged and went our separate ways. In the middle of one the conversations I do remember something I had missed. The way he used to look at me...it could make any girl melt, and I saw that for a brief second. Now don't get me wrong I am over brown-eyes, I have dated other people, and see places in the world he will never see, but I have never been in love like I was in love with him. We were together for about three years and it was love. We always told each other that we were going to marry someday ect ect ect. But after we broke up (on good terms) I felt at the time that we would end up being together. He texted me later that night and told me that he would see me in a month when he moves up here.

    I guess we will just have to see what happens. I don't think I should hold me breath though.

    Until next time,
    single_gal_n_the_-city

Friday, 05 December 2008

  • Leave me ALONE!

    The felon is still sending me messages...Lord above please give me the strength to not go to his work and personally strangle him. I just need to be left alone!

    On a lighter note I am offically a single woman NOT on the prowl. I'm just exhausted. These men take to much energy and I'm going to have an embolism if I do not start focusing on more important things. I thought I would share another short story about a guy that I dated. I lovingly call him In-and-Out Adam.

    I met In-and-out Adam through one of my friends who goes to a different university then me. I-A-O Adam met one weekend I went down to visit her. We hung out and he was super sweet. I thought this guy is perfect for me. He talks about wanting to be in a relationship, he is kind, says wonderful things about me to my friend, and he wants to come visit me at my school soon! This was awesome.

    Until I slept with him.

    He came up to the ville after a couple weeks of chatting on the phone. We went on a date which was really fun, and I started visualizing him as my boyfriend. Two weeks later he came back up to the ville and we ended up getting hot and heavy. I asked him to stay the night and he didn't refuse. We climbed into my bed and started really making out. I was totally into it and told him to get a condom (safety first Ladies!) out of my desk. He puts the condom on and of course puts in where it needs to go. I lay there all ready and geared up to go, and then the weirdest thing happened. Three thrusts and FIN-E-TOE...he was finished. I lay there absolutely stunned. WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!!!??? I couldn't believe he came...so I asked him politely, "Why did you stop is there something wrong?", His response, "Uh no..I just finished..", "Oh really?", "Yeah...I'll be right back". In-and-out Adam slips into the bathroom and comes back a few mins later. Meanwhile I'm mouthing profanities to the ceiling. In my head I was like WHAT THE HELL!!!! He comes back to the bed to cuddle with me and I decided I'm not going to jump to conclusions; maybe he had a long day or hadn't masturbated in a while. I'll give it another shot. So about 30 mins later we start up again. This time I'm taking it much slower and trying to help him along. 15 seconds later he pulls out and walks to the bathroom. FUCK THIS. Now I was pissed. Fuck me badly once shame on you, fuck me badly twice shame on me.

    In-and-out Adam emerges from the bathroom. I say, "Um Adam...is this a common problem?", "What do you mean?" as he throws me the death glance. "Well I like sex...ALOT...and well I like to have it for a long long time...so I think we are going to need to work on this, because its sort of a big deal to me, especially if we are going to start dating." "Yeah yeah I know." He lays back down and scoots as far from me as possible. In the morning we go to the state fair and he barely talks to me. It was totally uncomfortable and it felt like he had changed into a completely different person. I didn't want to see him anymore because of that horrifying experience and I know he was to embarrassed to say anything to me. He dropped me off at my apartment and he sent me an email when he got home saying he wasn't ready for a real relationship yet but wanted to remain close friends. I laughed out loud when I read it knowing what he meant was...please don't tell everyone that I fucked you only for 20 seconds! I responded respectfully saying that I thought that was a great idea.

    A couple days later I was rehashing the story to one of my close friends and she stopped me in mid-sentence. "Lael...was he a virgin!?" I stopped everything I was doing and burst into laughter. "You don't think he was? Do you?, "Uh Lael you took his v-card!!! And then mortified him!" "I did not!!" In-and-out Adam was bad in bed.

     

    End of story.

    Until Next Time,

    Singlegalnthecity

Tuesday, 02 December 2008

  • The felon

    About a year ago I dated a felon. Yes its every girls mistake. He had been out of prison for about a year, and he was still on parole. No, of course I didn't know he was a criminal felon when I met him! My friend and I were sitting at a restaurant when I made a comment that the waiter was cute. Next thing I know my friend is writing my number on a napkin. I was really embarrassed so I walked out of the restaurant as fast as possible. The felon and I went on a couple dates and he then told me what he had done. He dealt drugs in a large Southern curcuit and was pulled over by the cops with tons of drugs hidden in compartments in his car. I was a little shocked that this handsome well spoken man had been in a prison for three years. We dated for about 5 months and I really felt as if we connected. He was really charming and we had become very close. UNTIL my mother found out he was a felon. She hadn't met him and my big mouth sister let her know who I was seeing. I knew that the felon wasn't perfect he could be manipulative, he always asked for money, he never wanted to have sex, and could sometimes be a bit to clingy. Even though I knew that he wasn't good for me I still wanted him around me. He somehow made me feel special in a weird way, and he convinced me that I just needed him not friends or family. Before he sucked me in to deep I found out he was seeing another girl...which of course jolted me out of he luring spell. I was really feeling strong emotions for the felon, but I knew I deserved better. In the end I told him I had depression and I couldn't see him anymore. He believed me and we went separate ways. He kept calling though. He felt like he needed to have me. So I changed my number and never went back to the restaurant we I had originally met him.

    Through the entirety of our relationship it was just fun. He was so fun to be around, and there was never a dull moment. BUT he was a little crazy.

    Yesterday I get a message on facebook with just his number on it. I have not accepted a friend request from him because I know I will be sucked back into his life. He is living with his girlfriend who used to give him rides to my house and who he swore was "just a friend". I know they were fucking when we dated and that's one of the BIG reasons I had to get out of that jacked relationship. Anyways he just messages me randomly with his number on it. And I messaged him back "What does that mean? You want me to call you?" He responded this morning saying yes to please text or call him. FUCK THAT. You live with your little girlfriend...that's just sick. This girl is 18 years old and he is 28 gross. I miss the good times but not enough to hang out with him again. Apparently he asks about me all the time because he works with on of my sorority sisters. Whatever I'm not dealing with that bullshit again.

    Mr. Tennessee is on his way...Praise the lord!

    Till next time,
    Single_gal_n_the_city



Monday, 01 December 2008

  • I promised

    Last night was seriously gross and disturbing. I stormed out of the apartment and slammed the front door. That nasty bitch. SERIOUSLY!?? I could of done that to you a hundred times, but I have always been respectful. I know I can be bad, but even my line can be crossed. ANYWAYS!

    I promised some juicy dating stories from my past, and as I review the horrible past experiences I don't know whether to applaud my bravery or to feel utterly disturbed. I have a vivid memory of about two years ago when I decided to let one of the ladies at my temple hook me up with a guy. She explained he was nice, cordial, interesting, sweet, but sort of a larger gentlemen. "How large?" I said as I stared in the Bubbie's eyes, "Big guy, but in a well proportioned kinda way...don't worry hunny you'll love him".
    RULES OF DATING:
    1. Do not let an old Jewish woman set you up. Ever.

    So I get ready. I'm looking cute and its about 6:15 on a Friday night. Hair looking good. Boobs perky. Makeup nicely done. Outfit killer. I meet him outside of my apartment complex.

    2. Never let a blinddate pick you up. Ever.

    I open the door to the car (he doesn't get out or anything--big red flag), and slip inside the seat. As I buckle my seat belt I look into the eyes of a 400lb man. Inside my brain-- I was dyeing. Literally. I couldn't help myself. I could not believe I had stooped this low. JESUS. I mean I'm not a shallow person, but come'on! I had dated bigger guys in the past, but never someone who was morbidly obese. SERIOUSLY!? Looks aren't everything and please I'm nothing special, but this was just ridiculous. So we go to some generic restaurant, and he orders all fried food. I couldn't even eat. I just stared at him gobbling down his fried cheesesticks and chicken. To make things worse he barely could fit into the booth. He had to ask the waitress to push the table closer to me for his comfort. Dude, if you have that big of a problem you need to push tables around for your comfort...you have a problem.

    The date went on...

    of course I was nice and pleasant and graciously thanked him for my salad with no dressing. Then he asked if I wanted to go for a drive on the parkway. I said no I have homework with my name on it. He dropped me off, and I could not of sprinted faster up the stairs to my apartment.

    Literally 20 mins later I get a phone call from him. Ignoring it once, he called again. "Oh jesus!...Hello?", "Hey Lael, Its fatman (name change naturally)", "Hey what's up?", "Well I just wanted to know why you wanted to get out of the car so fast", "Uh well I really need to study for this test on Monday", "Oh well I thought it might have something to do with my size". This is when I couldn't handle it anymore...it was like word vomit it just started pouring out. "Actually I was surprised by your size, fatman. You described yourself on the phone as being large, but no fat albert" "I thought a girl like you who is in a sorority would be so snobby, and would feel that way". "EXCUSE ME!? What did you just say? I happen to have dated many larger men in the past, and for your information I find your weight a real problem. Hell I know I'm not perfect by any means I could use to loose about 45lbs but I'm healthy! Thanks for dinner, but this conversation is over", "Lael you are a total bitch and I hope you find some chiseled asshole". "Thanks fatman I hope I do!" CLICK.

    This is completely true accounts and I wish I could make up something as horrible as that to be fictional.

    Anyways Happy dating and more tips coming your way...

    Until Next Time,
    Single_gal_n_the_city


Sunday, 30 November 2008

  • FUCK THIS!

    My roommate is fucking her fiancé as we speak and I can hear them. GROSS.

    I come home to find my roommate in her room scrambling to get dressed because she hasn't seen her fiancé in four days. My roommate has been away with her family for Thanksgiving. I can't handle this. Its like adding salt to an open wound!!!

    Outta here!

singlegalnthecity

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    • Name: singlegalnthecity
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 11/29/2008

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  • I love to laugh and most of the time I'm laughing at myself. I am single and loving it! I have a eclectic group of friends that are absolutely wonderful. I hate college, but I'm also to afraid to graduate. I want to travel everywhere and meet everyone. I'm definitely not shy! This blog was made as a rebellion to all my friends in long term relationships, engagements, and/or marriages. I am single and fabulous! Read my blog and tell me what you think. I would really enjoy some humorous feedback!

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